Annoying Malware!

Just as I can only assume to be true of most of the people who will read this, the device that I use to access the internet, i.e., the world, depends upon my location and time of day - mobile phones, tablets, laptops, PCs, what have you.

Somehow, one of the computers that I have been using on a regular basis has been infected with the Money Pak Scam malware.

Money Pak Scam Malware
http://malwaretips.com/blogs/green-dot-moneypak-virus/
No Copyright Infringement Intended

This is proving to be a difficult program to remove, but both my brother-in-law and I are working on the problem.

In the meantime, this is seriously cutting into my internet access.  Thank you for your patience while I get things squared away.

The Loss of the Greatest Generation

National World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C.
http://www.wwiimemorial.com/....
Photo by Richard Lato

It was with great sadness that I learned that my Mom's neighbor Tony died this afternoon, less than seven weeks since another one went on to achieve his own reward in Heaven.  Let's take them in reverse order....

~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~

Here is an edited combination of two of my Facebook status updates from February 7^th and 8^th:

Bob lived across the hall from my Mom for the last couple of years. It used to be the case that I would participate in a card game with my Mom and her neighbors, but was not really a constructive way to spend time with her, as a few of them began to make *everything* increasingly unpleasant.  I have not made much secret of the fact that my Mom's neighbors can be quite challenging. Some of them have represented to me the embodiments of unreasonable viewpoints, the devastation of memory, profound loneliness marked by the need to talk constantly - everything I dread becoming.

Seal of the United States Navy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Navy
Public Domain

Not Bob though. He was a terrific story teller and was very funny.  A World War II veteran of the United States Navy, Bob was the consummate gentleman, funny, and a sharp dresser - everything one hopes to be - and although he was 88 years old, he never particularly struck me as an "old man."

The last year was tough on Bob, but he maintained his spirits, and he never took people down by discussing his condition in graphic detail.

I learned on Wednesday (February 6, 2013) that Bob passed away. He shall be greatly missed by many people.

~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~

Tony lived just down the hall from my Mom with his wife of over sixty  years, Marlene.  In spite of that, I didn't get to know him as well as Bob, but I liked and respected him based upon our limited interactions and whatever stories my Mom shared.  She has been helping to clean their apartment once a week for several years, giving her the opportunity to know both of them very well.

Seal of the United States Army
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Army
Public Domain

I, on the other hand, would run into Tony occasionally as he traveled the length of the hallway from his apartment to the mailboxes.  He was always cheerful and would ask me how I was doing, and no matter what my personal situation was, I would always greet him cordially and  tell him that everything was fine.  Similar to Bob, Tony was always well-dressed and charming, and I liked him because something about him reminded me of my own Uncle Bruce, and at the age of 94, he too defied the stereotypical "old man," apart from his walker.  As we chatted briefly in the hallway, Tony would tell me to say "Hi" to my Mom (which I often forgot to do), and that would be the end of it.  

Just as I wrote about in in my entry dated December 7, 2012, however, I have learned that there was much more to this man that met the eye.

Tony was a veteran of the campaign in Italy serving as a captain in the US Army, 88th Infantry Division "Fighting Blue Devils."  In addition to being a husband, he was a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.  

Marlene went out to lunch today with their son Mike, and when the two of them returned, they found Tony in his chair, having passed away peacefully.  Since he had not been sick, this came as a complete surprise.  Sure, he was 94, but he seemed perfectly healthy.  My Mom is torn apart and Marlene is understandably in shock.  I am going to miss seeing him in the hallway and wish that I had gotten to know him better.

Flag of the United States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_the_United_States
Public Domain

~~~~~     ~~~~~     ~~~~~

My Mom has other neighbors who were World War II veterans, but a few of them strike me as "crotchety."  The reality, of course, is that they are widowers with a variety of physical ailments, and the world that they helped to create is leaving them in the dust.  As sad as that is, it is difficult to get past all of those filters, and even then, discussions can be littered with comments reeking of sexism, racism, and other ills that make me bristle.  Weighing the value of the non-renewable resource versus some of the complications that come with them is a real mental balancing act.

Do you know members of  the Greatest Generation?  Have you taken time to get to know them, have their personal styles been off-putting to you, or have they not "let you in"?  Please share your comments below.

Brief Update

Executive Recruiter
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/10/11/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

Much of my time is spent volunteering and networking, with the goal of ultimately finding a paying position that best fits my skill set.  My  true talents lie within the administration of payroll and benefits, accounts payable, accounts receivable, scheduling,  and bookkeeping tasks - my mind is designed to work at its best within the structure that numbers provide.

I spoke with a recruiter on Friday (03/22/2013) about a position  that would utilize my experience, but was ultimately offered another, one that had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my strengths.

Both Goodreads and BrainyQuote attribute the following quote to the Chinese philosopher Confucius (551 - 479 BC):

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Let me be honest with you:  this does not seem to me as though it will fall into the "love" category, but I want to give it a shot.  In fact, my exact response was "I would like to have the opportunity to fail, so that I can turn it into the opportunity to succeed."  We'll see what happens.

Have you ever taken on a responsibility knowing that it played more to your weaknesses than to  your strengths?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Schedule Changes, Computer Problems, and Bears! Oh My!

It was my intent to have a blog entry for every day in March, but the last several days have been crazy.  Even though this entry is dated March 22, I am writing on March 27, and in those intervening days, I have lived and developed  several ideas, including commentary about a dramatic schedule change; an alleged Department of Justice warning, or in other words, a virus, that has completely infected one of the several computers that I use; tying myself  up in knots over the unknown; the passing of two World War II veterans whom I had the privilege to meet; and a few more.

Thank you for your readership.  I will be back soon!

Please Stand By
http://www.ivygateblog.com/2011/10/stay-tuned-and-write-for-us/
No Copyright Infringement Intended

Sheer Plandemonium

President Abraham Lincoln, "The Great Emancipator"
Daguerreotype Taken November 8, 1863
Alexander Gardner (1821 - 1882)
Library of Congress Digital File cph.3a53289
http://www.britannica.com/bps/media-view/112498/1/0/0

Although a conspiracy plot ultimately carried out by John Wilkes Booth prematurely and tragically ended the life of one of our nation's greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln led a life and left a legacy that have secured him virtual immortality.  His measures ensured that our country would be restored after the bitter and divisive Civil War.  With his Emancipation Proclamation, Lincoln extended the promise of freedom to over three million slaves and forged the path toward the thirteenth amendment to the Constitution, outlawing slavery in the United States altogether.

As such, Lincoln is known as "The Great Emancipator."

My personal accomplishments have been microscopic in comparison, but more than likely, so have yours.  To the best of my knowledge, Nelson Mandela and Lech Wałęsa do not read  my blog on a regular basis.  (Confidential to Mister Wałęsa:  Dziękuję.)

One Sharpened Pencil Among Unsharpened Ones
http://www.visualphotos.com/....

In spite of this, we all have our strengths, and one of mine is planning.  I like to anticipate needs and be able to fulfill them completely or defer an activity until I am better prepared.  You might say that I am "The Great Anticipator."

This involves a combination of personal experience, anecdotal evidence, and research.  Take a party, for example:  no one wants to run out of food, but on the other hand, it doesn't do any good to have an overwhelming amount of leftovers either.  Other considerations to take into account might be:  does anyone on the guest list have specific dietary requirements, whether due to allergies or religious observations?  Are there enough places for people to sit?

 

As I wrote in my entry dated March 20 though, quoting Robert Burns,

The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men

Gang aft agley.

A Hansen Family Dinner
There appears to be sufficient seating for everyone
Davey and Goliath
http://www.daveyandgoliath.org/images/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

As is the way of the world, no amount of planning can take into account the sorts of things that happen at every occasion.  Someone is sick.  Perhaps someone had a little bit too much to drink.  Maybe an unexpected guest comes.  Any number of things can go wrong, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves that "a good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."  Too much planning can lead to a sort of social paralysis, and it can also lead to disappointment when events take an unexpected turn.

When I was married, I would often find myself on a Tuesday making plans for the upcoming Saturday.  Where would we go?  What would we do?  How early would we have to leave?  As the weekend drew ever nearer, I would become increasingly excited, only to wake up on Saturday morning to find my bride wanting to sleep in.  It was reminiscent of my childhood, when I would want to do things on a Sunday, only to be thwarted by the Minnesota Vikings.  As a direct result of that, I have had a lifelong distaste for football, and for sports in general, but that is finally starting to subside.  So too is my dependence upon the sleep habits of others.  If I want to go somewhere and do something fun, I go!

Are you a planner, or are you more of a spontaneous person?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

A Disappointing Attempt to Engage in a Respectful Difference of Opinion

Minnesota State Capitol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Legislature
Photo Credit:  Wikipedia User Mulad, aka Mike Hicks
Public Domain

I generally try to avoid calling people out by name, but when a public official makes his positions well-known, it seems within reason for me to do so.

At the beginning of February, Dan Hall, the state senator from the Burnsville – Lakeville – Savage area, about thirty miles south of where I live, started following me on Twitter.  This seemed very strange to me, but after corresponding with him, I followed him back.  The topic of same-sex marriage did not come up in our communications at that time for a variety of reasons, primarily because it didn’t even occur to me at the time.  You can only imagine my surprise when I saw him in the news a few weeks later.  

Senator Hall is referenced in this article  http://minnesota.publicradio.org/.... as follows:

The bill includes a specific exemption based on religious beliefs.  But other Republicans said they're still concerned about a potential infringement on their religious liberty.  State Sen. Dan Hall, an ordained minister, said he doesn't want to be forced one day to perform a marriage that he objects to.

"I personally will go to jail before I ever perform a marriage to a homosexual," said Hall, R-Burnsville.

In my entry dated March 18, I shared some of my thoughts regarding same-sex marriage, expressing both love and support for my friends and family members in the LGBT community.  Whenever I publish a blog entry, I send a Tweet, and the one in this instance read:

Love is love. 

matthewmorsecodified.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-thoughts-on-same-sex-marriage.html 

@SenatorDanHall @ScottDibble @ChrisWarcraft #MarriageEquality #StraightAlly

Note that Scott Dibble is the Senate sponsor of the bill that would allow same-sex marriage in the state of Minnesota, and “Chris Warcraft” is Chris Kluwe, the punter for the Minnesota Vikings, who has been very vocal in his support of the issue. 

Late that day, Senator Hall responded:

@MatthewMorse6 @ScottDibble @ChrisWarcraft Not for me.  I love my wife different than my niece.  There are many different kinds of love.

Twitter Symbol
https://twitter.com/twitter
No Copyright Infringement Intended

Although I interpreted the response as immaterial, argumentative,   ridiculous, and insulting to my intelligence, I am loath to engage in an online argument with anyone, much less a politician.  It also raised some questions, which I never posed directly to Senator Hall:  Did you read my blog entry, or did you just reply to my use of the expression "Love is love"? Did you read about the people who are in loving relationships? Did you read about my friends and family? Do you understand how your "Christian" beliefs are hurting others?

I keep very close track of the people with whom I am connected on all of my social media accounts, so it was easy to notice when the counts for both my "Following" and my "Followers" were down by one on Tuesday.  Senator Hall unfollowed and blocked me.  It was never my belief that his mind would change, but the fact that we could not have a respectful disagreement strongly disappointed me.

I sent him one last Tweet:

@SenatorDanHall You unfollowed me and arranged it so that I no longer follow you? Because I have a lesbian cousin? I don't understand.

Senator Hall has to date not responded to me.

Have you ever been involved in a disagreement with a politician? How did you handle it? Please share your comments below.

A Day of Questionable Productivity

Little Mermaid Ariel 02
One of the Google Image results for the term "Insomnia"
Photographer:  ~insomnia-stock (Marianna) on deviantART
http://insomnia-stock.deviantart.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

I had a networking meeting scheduled for Tuesday morning at 9:00 AM.  Based upon the distance, as well as the unknowns of weather and traffic, I wanted to get up at 6:30 AM, so that I would be able to arrive early without having to rush through my prep time.  My goal was to go to bed at 10:30 PM.

As the saying goes,

The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley.

My good friends, Agents Rossi and Hotchner of Criminal Minds fame, convinced me to stay up until midnight, and then I was WIDE awake at 3:00 AM.  After tossing and turning for more than thirty minutes, I decided to get up and watch the overnight news on one of the original networks for a laugh, if for nothing else.  Having caught a broadcast recently, I was thoroughly unimpressed with the anchors' demeanor, questioning whether they were delivering news or stand-up comedy.

It's 5:00 Somewhere Neon Sign
http://www.menards.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

To my delight, I was able to watch the inaugural mass of Pope Francis I.  Just as one does not simply walk into Mordor, nor does one - at least not this one - simply turn off such an important event.  Before I knew it, 5:00 AM had arrived.

Round two:  let's try this again.  After ninety minutes, and then two hours, I woke up at 7:00 AM and had plenty of time to get ready and arrive at the networking meeting at 8:30; however, being there and "being there" were two entirely different things.  Although I was not as engaged as usual, I was able to meet some nice people and take some good notes from the guest speakers.

The afternoon and evening have been a complete waste though, and I hope to get some rejuvenative sleep tonight and have something more substantive to share on Wednesday.

This has happened to all of us.  If you would like to tell me about one of your experiences, please feel free to share it in the comments below.

PS:  Yesterday's blog entry had a Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level of 12.6  Even with the Robert Burns quote, this one comes in at 8.5.  Sorry about that.  I am clearly very tired tonight!

My Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage

"Golden Wedding Rings on White Background"
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/....
Photo Credit:  Petr Kratochvil
Public Domain

If you had asked me twenty years ago what my thoughts were on same-sex marriage,  I might have said some things that were not particularly charitable toward the more than 11.7 million Americans who identify as LGBT.

I attended private Catholic schools from kindergarten through my senior year of high school, and my recollection of that time is that some people, including myself on occasion, would use the term "gay" as a slur.  Two particular students in the grade just above mine would use far more graphic terms.

The passage of time has resulted in some personal illumination, stemming from four specific sets of circumstances.

I was married to - and have long since been divorced from - a young woman who must not have been paying attention in her high school health classes, as I think she believed that AIDS was something that could be transmitted through casual contact.  Her particular brand of homophobia was one based on fear, whereas her father's stemmed more from contempt.  He was one of those "God made 'Adam and Eve,' not 'Adam and Steve'" types.  That expression has never seemed particularly inventive to me, especially not when he used it in reference to Jimmy Kimmel appearing in a dress on "Win Ben Stein's Money,"  and that he made the comment during a "meet the parents" dinner that my parents hosted.  Just as a matter of record, I should point out that his application of various "-isms" was not limited to sexuality.  For example, he also referred to people from the Middle East as "sand n*****s."

An Evening of Burlesque
http://www.guildhallartscentre.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

The next three ultimately tie together and are provided in a non-linear timeline.

One of my closest friends has an affinity for the LGBT community.  It was a topic that we did not discuss in as detailed a level as we should have, but I fully understood that it was important to her.  As she is someone whose opinions hold great value to me, I reconsidered my beliefs on an ongoing basis, ultimately coming to appreciate that love is love.

I have several friends in the burlesque community who are gay and lesbian.  These people have become very important in my life over the course of  the last few  years, and I want to extend to them every manner of respect that I can.  In many cases, to know the performers is to know their significant others as well, and I have had the fortune to get to know several of the couples on an actual first-name basis (as opposed to stage names).

Minnesotans United for All Families 2012 Yard Sign
https://www.facebook.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

As much as I love my friends, however, the single biggest catalyst in re-framing my thought process has been the fact that I have a first cousin who is a lesbian.  She and her wife have been together for six years, first as girlfriends, then as engaged partners, spouses, and now... mothers!  I know  firsthand what it is like to be in an unsuccessful heterosexual marriage, and when I observe the love that my cousin and her wife have for each other and for their son, I can't possibly say that there is something "wrong" with them.  Love is love.  My failed marriage had legal recognition, while their successful one does not.  There are, in fact, 515 ways that their marriage does not have the same rights, so they have to go through legal avenues in advance to ensure, for example, such things as hospital visitation rights in the event that one of them should become ill.

Spurred on by my love and respect for my family members, my friends in the burlesque community, and countless individuals from throughout the state whom I shall never meet,  I chose to volunteer during the 2012 election cycle for a political action committee called Minnesotans United for All Families, working in opposition to the Minnesota Marriage Amendment:

Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?

I am proud to say that the organization's tireless efforts resulted in a victory, by a margin of 52.56% to 47.44%.

With Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe
Photo Taken on Election Day - November 6, 2012

Although I used the term "LGBT" (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) above, another more inclusive term might be "LGBTQIA," which the University of Missouri-Kansas City defines as "Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Ally, and Asexual."

I far prefer the term "ally" over "straight," simply because the latter term suggests to me that all other orientations deviate from a norm, that they are somehow less-than-straight, perhaps even "crooked."  I got to meet a famous ally last year on Election Day - Chris Kluwe, the punter for the Minnesota Vikings - who released a letter on September 7, 2012 indicating his support for same-sex marriage rights.

Representative Karen Clark (left) and
Senator Scott Dibble (right) on 02/27/2013
http://bigstory.ap.org/photo/....
Photo Credit:  Jim Mone, Associated Press
No Copyright Infringement Intended

This matter is being discussed in our State House once again.  In light of the Constitutional amendment measure having been defeated, chief Senate sponsor Scott Dibble and chief House sponsor Karen Clark (along with additional sponsors in each chamber) have launched an effort to legalize gay marriage in the State of Minnesota.  Several elected officials within the Republican Party have voiced their strong opposition to the matter, but Governor Mark Dayton (himself a Democrat) has voiced his support.

People are speaking against the motion with language highlighting tradition, religion, the need for children to have both a mother and a father, et cetera.

I am not a theologian, politician, lawyer, doctor, parent, or many other things; however, one thing that I am is a friend and a family member, and I want people who are close to me to be able to exercise the same rights and privileges that I can, and that their love can be recognized by the State of Minnesota.  Love is love.

I am apprehensive to allow comments on this entry, but I will trust that people will respect my opinion, even if they do not agree with it, and that individuals will not engage in hostile cross-chat with others.  Thanks in advance.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!



The Day Our Hearts Rejoice
The month is March, the day Seventeen.
Let's skip and dance on Erin's green, All on St. Patrick's Day.
http://stpattysday2013.com/....



~Traditional Gaelic Blessing~

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Leprechaun with Pot of Gold
http://fineartamerica.com/....
Photograph by Oleksiy Maksymenko
No Copyright Infringement Intended

I have never been one to drink very much, and it can often be cold in Minnesota in mid-March, so the whole idea of standing outside and watching a parade holds little appeal for me.  Because of this, March 17 is really just another day on the calendar, other than that I have a family member who celebrates her birthday today.

Nevertheless, it is interesting to see how others observe it.  Does Saint Patrick's Day have any significance to you?  If so, how do you celebrate it?  Please feel free to share your comments below.

Taking Action Instead of Just Complaining

Snow Plow in Washington, D.C. photographed April 2003
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowplow
Public Domain

The snow plowing on the street on which my Mom lives has been sub-par this year, but because of a combination of complicated weather patterns and residents who have consistently not complied with regulations to move their vehicles during snow emergencies, I can not place all of the blame onto our Public Works Department.  Believe me, I have called them after every snowfall this year to complain about the conditions, but all of the conversations have ended with me saying "I completely understand.  Thank you for your time."  Thinking that taking the argument to the citizenry will have some influence, I sent a letter to our local newspaper's editor, in the hopes that she will publish it.  

Here is a copy of the letter.  In the interest of my own privacy, I have changed some of the street names.  It goes without saying that the version I sent to the editor identified the actual locations.

~~~~~~~~~~          ~~~~~~~~~~          ~~~~~~~~~~          ~~~~~~~~~~

My Vehicle Parked at an Angle on 03/16/2013

The plowing in some parts of Black River Falls has been inconsistent with the quality to which I have become accustomed over the fifteen or so years that members of my family and/ or I have lived here. Two specific areas that I have in mind are some spots on East Main Street between South Roosevelt  Road and Winnebago Avenue, as well as North 6th Street between Monroe and Harrison Streets.

It is my understanding that the first snowfall of the season set the stage for significant problems, as a thick ice layer formed, making it difficult to clear the streets effectively.  I applaud our city's Public Works Department for their efforts in the face of these complications; however, as subsequent snowfalls have fallen, the concept of "curb-to-curb" plowing has become less and less of a reality.  On North 6th Street, I find myself having to park either far outside the solid white line demarcating the parking lane or positioning my vehicle at an ever-increasing angle. 

The Vehicle Parked Behind Me on 03/16/2013
Note that its position is significantly outside the parking lane.

Responsibility for this does not fall solely upon our public servants, however, as some members of  the public themselves have not moved their vehicles during snowfalls, necessitating that plows go around them, leaving snow to accumulate and compact.

We must work in partnership with each other and with our governmental service providers in order to create something  that is not just a place to live, but that is a community.  When individuals act outside of that goal, it compromises the quality of life both for themselves and for others.

I hope that the winter of 2012 - 2013 is an anomaly in this regard, and that we can all conduct ourselves with a greater good in mind throughout the future.

~~~~~~~~~~          ~~~~~~~~~~          ~~~~~~~~~~          ~~~~~~~~~~

One of my Mom's neighbors writes letters to the editor quite frequently, and almost all of the time, he just comes off like an angry and confused elderly man. I, on the other hand, tried to be respectful in my approach and indicate that there is a shared responsibility in this matter.

Have you ever written a letter to the editor?  Was it published?  Did you spark a conversation?  Do you read the editorials in your local newspaper(s)?  In this age of online interaction, do you even buy the newspaper anymore?  Please feel free to share your comments below.

One Aspect of Myself of Which I am Extremely Proud

At the American Red Cross with My Phlebotomist, Shaunda
Photo Taken September 2, 2011
Thanks to Medical Assistant Jeannine for Taking the Photo

I donated blood earlier today at the American Red Cross and am scheduled to give my fifty-sixth donation, equaling a total of seven gallons, on May 10th.

It all started with a wrong number....

Shortly after my Dad passed away (on December 18, 2003), I answered a telephone call at home, and the caller was a representative from the American Red Cross looking for the people who had that telephone number previously.  She went on to explain that her reason for calling was to ask them to donate blood.  After providing her with the new number, it occurred to me that I should donate too, and so a commitment was born.  With a few exceptions because of holidays, scheduling conflicts, and one four-month deferral*, I have donated every fifty-six days for the last nine years.



The need is constant.  The gratification is instant.  Give blood.
Image obtained from http://www.wiu.edu/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended



*I have a seizure disorder, and in September 2004, I had a seizure and was instructed at that time not to donate again until January 13, 2005.

Since each donation can save up to three lives, I have to date helped to save as many as 165 lives, and there is no greater reward in the world than that, at least not for me.

For more information about the American Red Cross and donating blood, please see their websites at http://www.redcross.org/ and  http://www.redcrossblood.org/,  their Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/redcross and https://www.facebook.com/RedCrossBlood, and their Twitter feed at https://twitter.com/RedCross.

Have you ever received a "wrong number" call, and it turned out to be something really important to you?  Have you ever placed such a call?  Please share your comments below.

I Wish You Peace

Saint Francis of Assisi
Original Artist Unconfirmed
http://www.catholic.org/

~Prayer of Saint Francis~

Lord, make an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. 

Amen

 

I share this prayer today, not to impose Catholicism or Christianity upon anyone, but to ask you to examine the words of this the prayer.  If you don't like the word prayer, then think of it as poetry.  Please read them aloud, listen to them, and take them to heart.

 

I see a great many situations that degenerate from righteous indignation to bullying, with intolerance, anger, and utter disdain along the way. 

 

Redemption, by Ric Larson
Welded Steel on Stone
http://fineartamerica.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

When someone does not meet my expectations, the first thing that I have to examine myself.  Am I being realistic and reasonable?  Does the person have the faculties and the tools to fulfill what I wanted?

Assuming that the answer to both of those questions is "Yes," someone is going to hear about it, but not until I confirm the root cause of the problems - poor planning or faulty execution.

We have the right to express frustration.  While I would never wish to take that away from anyone, my concerns are relative to the manner in which people conduct themselves.  Swearing does not go very far with me, and it often causes me to dismiss arguments wholesale.

If someone genuinely fails, we must hold them accountable for that and provide them with definitions of our expectations.  After that, additional mentions in context are merited in order to share cautionary wisdom with others; however, when those mentions come out of context, when the matter becomes an inside joke, when they just don't stop...  then it becomes bullying.

 

In spite of the very real hurt that we may feel, we must be better than to inflict that upon others.  Otherwise, it festers and gains a life of its own, defining us, consuming us.  There must come a time for redemption - or silence.

 

However you handle it, I hope that it is in such a way that you are able to find peace.

How do you feel about this?  How do you process dissatisfaction, anger, and hurt?  How do you help others to get through their frustrations?  Please share your comments below.

Viva il Papa!

Pope Francis I appears on the central balcony of Saint Peter's
Photo Credit:  Peter Macdiarmid/ Getty Images
Photo Obtained From http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/gallery/2013/mar/13/pope-francis-life-in-pictures#/?picture=405548058&index=0
No Copyright Infringement Intended

I know very little about Pope Francis I, but my first impressions are very positive.  I like the fact that he is a Jesuit and that, while Ignatius might correspondingly have been an obvious choice (Saint Ignatius of Loyola founded the Jesuit order on September 27, 1540), he selected the name Francis.  The fact that he has a degree in chemistry shows that he is a man of science in addition to being a man - the man - of faith.  Initial analysis reveals that his lifestyle as a Cardinal in Buenos Aires, Argentina, was not one of opulence, but of humility, and his first appearance on the world stage seemed to be consistent with that.

The Catholic Church has a great many matters to consider going forward,  and while each of those has overwhelming importance, I want to focus upon today as a day for celebration - and hope.  Please join me in wishing Pope Francis I every success in leading the world's 1.1 billion Catholics.  

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Enthusiasms. Enthusiasms. Enthusiasms.

"A Mermaid," by John William WaterhouseOil on Canvas, 1901
http://www.jwwaterhouse.com/....
Public Domain

Anyone who gets to know me for even a very short while will know that I have two big interests - mermaids and burlesque.  Some people don't fully understand either one of those, and it is not my goal today to explain or defend my pastimes, except to say that there is much more to me than any one facet might suggest.

For example, two of my other passions are wineries and stage theater, and my home state of Minnesota affords me a wealth of outlets in both cases.

In all of my pursuits, the key word is "community," as I try to be as involved  and encouraging as possible.  It is often the case that I will develop an online relationship with a person or a business long before meeting or patronizing them, and when the propitious moment finally arrives, they recognize me before I introduce myself.  That is always a heartwarming moment for me, as it is universally the case that people will express appreciation for my support.

Burlesque (2010)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1126591/
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There is a fine line between enthusiasm and obsession though, and I do my level best to be on guard for signs of that within my own behavior.  When I recognize it in others, it makes me bristle and causes me a great level of personal discomfort.  I have two examples of this, one personal and one professional.

Long before creating my Facebook profile, I was well aware of one of my former classmates and his daily stream-of-consciousness posts, and how he allegedly put everyone into hysterics.  It was specifically because of him that I waited until October 5, 2010 to open a Facebook account, and soon after that, I began to see his daily posts on a mutual friend's wall.  Note well that "Michelle," as I call her (not her actual name), is a married woman, and that the "gentleman" in question is single.

My favorite drink is "Michelle-o shots."

"The Michelleminator" - my new name for Michelle as she blasts through the walls of unwanted carbs and calories.

My favorite band is Michilli Vanilli.

I would like to see The Simpson's version of Michelle sometime.

One time, Michelle expressed interest in going to the Maldives.  The response?  "Why do you want moldy olives?"  I was not amused.  It was as though she just couldn't have one thing for herself without his having to hijack it somehow.

Garvin Heights Vineyards LLC, Winona, Minnesota
http://www.ghvwine.com/grapes.html
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This involvement in Michelle's life seemingly never ended, and it actually compromised my ability to enjoy Facebook for a time, because I always found myself wanting to come to Michelle's defense - something which, I should add, she never asked me to do.  Although it was not finally my place to take on those concerns, it was nonetheless frustrating, as the whole thing reminded me of various incidents that ultimately led to the dissolution of my marriage.    Thankfully, that was not a concern for Michelle.   Since the former classmate was unreceptive to my uneasiness on this and several other matters, we are no longer Facebook friends, and in-person encounters at larger gatherings are brief and  forced.

Just as I know Michelle personally, we all "know" news anchors in some sense, given that they appear on our television screens, in our living rooms, every night.  Just as with the observations made about my friend, I witnessed something similar unfold on a local television journalist's Facebook profile.

Orpheum Theatre in Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.hennepintheatretrust.org/....
Photo Credit:  Mark Vancleave
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One night, I was watching the news, and the anchor - let's call her Linda Belton -  captured my attention, so I opened Facebook to see if she had a fan page.  What I found instead was that she has a personal profile, on which hundreds of members of the public have become her "friends."  Scrolling through the past week of updates, I noticed that one person's name kept appearing over and over, and his writings seemed alternately strange and off-putting to me.

Hey, L-Bell.  You rocked the lodge tonight! 

Loved the earrings you had on tonight, L-Bell!

Rocking the lodge in a yellow blouse!  L-Bell:  an anchor with integrity.

Animotion (Performers of 1984's Obsession )
http://www.animotion-obsession.com/frontpage
Cropped Without Permission
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Never having met Ms Belton in person, it seemed awkward to me to ask her to be my Facebook friend, and I knew that seeing these posts on an almost daily basis would cause no end to my chagrin.  It all became a moot point for Linda Belton after she accepted an opportunity in another market a few months ago, but the man continues to post similar comments on other broadcasters' walls, incessantly calling each one by some pet name that he has contrived.  Speaking very candidly, the guy creeps me out, and his demeanor reminds me very much of the faint memories that I have of the 1982 Morgan Fairchild movie The Seduction.  Thankfully, it is my understanding that the personalities and the stations are well aware of the situation.

The Seduction (1982)
http://www.amazon.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

In closing, let me acknowledge the fact that it would be extremely easy to ignore comments of the sort that I describe above, to accept them as the input of troubled minds, or to consider them with the humor that so many of my peers do.  For me, however, it is just not that simple.  I see interest that becomes obsession and even harassment, and my natural inclination to help, deflect, re-direct, or deter comes into play.  This is further complicated by the fact that I detest cross-chat between commenters.  Apart from further taking the thread away from the original intent of the person who posted the update, cross-chat is completely pointless, unless the people involved stay on the thread and are committed to arguing with someone else.  Whenever I see a hijacked thread now,  my only options are to walk away and to communicate through behind-the-scenes channels.

We all see posts and comments that rub us the wrong way.  How do you handle them?  Do you let them bother you?  Do you say anything, or does it make you cringe when people cross-chat?

Please feel free to share your comments below.