Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year

From all of us at the Codified: The Life and Thoughts of Matthew Morse family (i.e., myself), best wishes for safe and happy New Year's celebrations and a prosperous 2013.

Happy New Year Postcard
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Happy-new-year.gif
Public Domain

When Betrayal by Another Leads to Deception of Oneself

Lillian Gish as Hester Prynne
The Scarlet Letter (1926)
Adapted from the 1850 Nathaniel Hawthorne novel
http://www.nytimes.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended
Almost a full decade ago, my brief marriage ended in divorce.  Although it was on Valentine's Day of 2002 that I learned of my wife's betrayal of the  vows that we had made to each other in our wedding ceremony only twenty months earlier, it was  not until October of that year that we separated and April of 2003 that our divorce was finalized.

The story does not end there though.

This was not a "bump in the road" for me.  Since I was raised as a Catholic, marriage is a sacrament.  Divorce, for me at the time, symbolized failure on several different levels.  It was a bad marriage though, and as people are quick to point out, I am "lucky" that it ended when it did, and not after having had children or investing further emotion into the relationship.  Somehow, there just doesn't seem to be anything particularly "lucky" about any of it.

Minnehaha Falls
http://www.gowaterfalling.com/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended
Early in 2008, I met a young woman who worked for the same company as I did, but at a different site.  We both served on a committee together, so we saw each other at least once a month, and I really began to enjoy  her company.  After a while, we started doing things socially, meeting occasionally for one meal or another, going for a walk through Minnehaha Park, going to see one of my favorite bands perform an outdoor concert and enjoying a picnic on a warm summer evening, going on winery tours, et cetera.

I told everyone that I had feelings for her beyond friendship, except for the young woman herself, and when we were together, I  never discussed my marriage, shutting off that part of my life altogether.  Of course, it would not be something upon which I would want to dwell, but to deny it altogether also proved to be an unhealthy choice.

After a while, the age-old question became louder and louder in my head:  "If I tell her of my real feelings, do we take things to an amazing next level, or do I lose her altogether?"  On the morning of May 13, 2012, that question became moot.  We met for an event that we had been discussing for several months, and she came in the company of her sister and... a man.  Her sister said  that they were "testing the waters," but it appeared as though the outcome was a foregone conclusion.  In spite of this, I was finally able to talk with her a few weeks later and tell her how I felt.

We have not spoken since.

A big part of me feels guilty for having burdened her with that knowledge, but at the same time, I miss her very much.  Although there are aspects of the circumstances with which I am decidedly displeased, the fact remains that I did not ask the question that had weighed on my own heart and mind until it was too late.  Additionally, I was not honest with myself, not picking up on signs that the likelihood of any reciprocation was small at best.  Perhaps in the final analysis that left me in a comfort zone, somewhat twisted though it may be, as by placing all of my interest into this one individual, I did not have to concern myself with the pursuit - and rejection - of others.

Stripped of all of the mixed emotions, what we had was a beautiful friendship, and not only do I miss my friend, I regret not showing support for her and her boyfriend over the course of the last seven months.  My initial rationale was that my silence offered a respectful distance, but I am strongly questioning that today.
The Morse Theatre (now site of The Mayne Stage)
1330 West Morse Avenue; Chicago, Illinois 60626
http://g-freethoughts.blogspot.com/.....
No Copyright Infringement Intended

The most recent chapter of this story is about someone whom I know from the entertainment community.  Every month, I see bands, stage plays, cabaret shows, poetry readings, acrobatic performances and more.  Many times, I will see some of the same performers three, four, five or more times in one month, and that is leading to, if not full-fledged friendships, then certainly very friendly acquaintanceships.  This is especially profound for me with one woman in particular.  I know that, while she is entertaining the audience, she is at work.  Respecting that, I do not want to be just like all of the other jerks who I ask her out.

But then, what does that make me?  The nice guy who doesn't ask her out?  If experience has taught me anything, it is that remaining silent will get me absolutely  no results whatsoever.  As my friend Lisa so eloquently put it, I need to "bust a move."

Perhaps it is time I take her advice and stop getting in the way of my own happiness.

Have you ever had an experience so bad that it compromised your ability to function "normally" in subsequent analogous situations?  What did it take for you to free yourself of that and to re-engage?  Please share your comments below.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Carrying the Spirit with Us Throughout the Year

NOTE:  Although this entry talks about the Christian celebration of Christmas, I believe that the sentiment expressed herein speaks to universal truths that transcend individual religions.  If you disagree after reading it,  please feel free to share your views respectfully in the comments section that follows.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas Comes But Once a Year


Charles Green (1840 - 1898)







http://www.allposters.co.uk....









No Copyright Infringement Intended










"At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year."
~Thomas Tusser (1524 - May 3, 1580)
~A Hundred Good Points of Husbandry (1557)
~The Farmer's Daily Diet

So goes a popular saying that has since morphed into "Christmas comes but once a year, and when it does, it brings good cheer."

As you can imagine, I respectfully disagree with Mister Tusser, arguing that, while December 25th is but one day on the calendar, the spirit of Christmas is something that we must have with us throughout the entire year.  For some, that  idea manifests itself through professions of faith., and for others, it is through a remarkable sense of joy and kindness.  There are those among us, however, who express relief that "Christmas is finally over," and that disturbs me to some degree.  I am not advocating that everyone run out and attend a church service daily, nor am I suggesting that everyone must be a Christian to possess these values.  Perhaps "Christmas spirit" is finally too specific and too poorly defined at the same time.  My point is that, whatever time of year brings joy to you - and for whatever reason - I hope we can come to a point where we stop focusing on individual days and instead start to show our faith, love of family, friendship, patriotism, et cetera every day.

I fear that someone will misunderstand me and believe that my goal is to have red, white and blue evergreen trees with pumpkins and baskets of chocolate eggs underneath.  Nothing could be less accurate.  What I mean instead is something much more relevant.  For example, please consider donating to an organization or volunteering somewhere in April or August (or any other month), not just in December.  Perhaps it is feasible to get together with family more often - don't just think about it, do it!  If you exchange gifts in December, that greater connection will make the shopping easier and the end result more meaningful.  Maybe, as one of my friends wrote yesterday, the future holds a greater focus on presence instead of presents.  Whatever the case, whatever your religious beliefs or lack thereof, I wish year-round happiness for you and your loved ones.

The Weavers are some of my favorite musicians/ singers.  They were a folk music group formed in 1948, consisting initially of  (clockwise, starting at the bottom left) Pete Seeger, Ronnie Gilbert, Lee Hays, and Fred Hellerman.  In their version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas, they sing "Pace!  Shanti!  Salud!  Shalom!  The words mean the same, whatever your home.  Why can't we have Christmas the whole year around?"

I just know in my own life that there is Christmas in July, Christmas in October, Christmas under the Sea, even Christmas on December 25th, but little in the way of Christmas in January, for example.

My good friend Charlie Brown discusses this with his ever-challenging friend Lucy van Pelt in a four-panel Peanuts strip that originally appeared on December 25, 1965.

Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz
Originally printed 12/25/1965
Taken from http://peanuts.wikia.com/wiki/Peanuts_Wiki?file=Pe651225.gif
No Copyright Infringement Intended

What do you think?  Is this simply an idealistic mindset, or does it already exist, and I am blind to it?  Are you glad that "Christmas is finally over," or does the December 25th celebration of faith, family, friends, food and whatever else Christmas means to you buoy you for another year?  Was this year more difficult because marketing was concurrent with the election cycle?  Perhaps it is a financial consideration.  Please share your comments below.

Monday, December 24, 2012

The Holiday That My Family and I Celebrate

Merry Christmas
http://blog.treefeathers.com/....
It has been a quiet few days here at Codified: The Life and Thought of Matthew Morse.  Although I feel very strongly about carrying holiday sentiments with us throughout the year, it is in deference to the Spirit of Christmas that I have withheld some of my thoughts about events that have taken place over the course of the past few days.

Today is Monday, December 24, 2012.  For some people, that might mean that it is Monday, and nothing more.  Others may look to this day as part of the renewal that came with last Friday's Yule and solstice celebrations.  For me, it is Christmas Eve.  That means faith, family, friends, and food - not necessarily in that order.

I found translations for the the expression "Merry Christmas" at http://www.babelmaster.de/.... and found some corresponding images on a Google Image search.  For fun, I also added some images from some of my various interests - burlesque, Doctor Who, mermaids, and Star Trek.  With the exception of the last photo, all of them are secular in nature.

Danish - Glædelig jul
http://www.email-postkort.dk/....
Dutch - Vrolijk Kerstfeest
http://www.wilmasstekkie.nl/....








French - Joyeux Noël
http://s3.static-footeo.com/....

German - Fröhliche Weihnachten
http://www.grusskartenkoenig.de/....









Irish Gaelic - Nollaig shona 
http://deviantart.com/....

Hawaiian - Mele Kalikimaka
http://www.hulaisland.com/....














Italian - Buon Natale
http://partitodelsud.blogspot.com/....
Spanish - ­­¡Feliz Navidad!
http://www.miclaseessuclase.com/....








Burlesque
http://www.rebelsmarket.com/....
Mermaids
http://www.knottygirlknit.com/....














Doctor Who
http://dv8r71.deviantart.com/art/MERRY-CHRISTMAS-DOCTOR-WHO-274790944

Star Trek
http://stylishlycheap.tumblr.com/post/1621295631/star-trek-christmas-wallpaper

Radio City Christmas Spectacular
http://www.kpbs.org/photos/galleries/2009/nov/23/radio-city-christmas-spectacular-staring-rockettes/

Whatever your particular celebration is - or is not - I hope that you have happy times and safe travels today and always.

Thank you for your readership.  I look forward to continuing with this in 2013 and throughout the future.

As always, your comments are welcome below.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Luxury of Choice

It's Fun to Choose, by Dru Cunninham (1988)
http://www.amazon.com/I....
No Copyright Infringement Intended
I came across this quote on Facebook on Tuesday evening:

"Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period."

My search to attribute this quote led me back only as far as Pinterest, which is somewhat discouraging to me.  Someone somewhere decided to string a bunch of words together, didn't take credit for them, and foisted them upon the populace as if they were Ancient Greek Philosophy.

Let's talk about choices though.  I have some questions for you about what you had for dinner last night:

1.  Did you have to take any religious or other dietary concerns into consideration?
2.  Did you stay home or go out?
3.  What cuisine did you have?
4.  Was the meal homemade or packaged?
5.  If it was homemade, were the ingredients fresh or processed?
6.  With whom did you eat?
7.  At what time did you eat?
8.  When was the last time you had that exact same meal?
9.  Was there enough?  If more was available, were you allowed to have it?
10.  If you couldn't finish your dinner, did you have a means to store it and eat it later?

Of course, maybe you were still full from lunch and just decided not to eat at all.   

Whatever your answers to these questions, chances are you had a great deal of choice in the matter.  Sometimes that choice is between two varieties of the oft-maligned Hot Pockets® brand sandwiches or two flavors of ramen noodles, but it is nevertheless a choice.

While quotes such as the one shared above can encourage people to transcend their condition, and while that is certainly an admirable pursuit, they are ultimately platitudinous in nature and overlook certain realities.

I have seen some of those realities firsthand.

Shortly after my father passed away (as discussed in my entry dated 12/18/2012), I started volunteering for a faith-based non-profit organization that provides food, shelter, and other services to the needy.

The shelter would benefit greatly from arrangements with certain fast food companies, oftentimes receiving hundreds (if not thousands) of frozen personal-sized thick-crust pizzas, various Asian entrees and side dishes, or hamburgers and chicken sandwiches.   

A Depression-Era Soup Kitchen
http://www.ssa.gov/history/acoffee.html
No Copyright or Privacy Infringement Intended
We served what had been generously donated, and that was at a specific appointed time every evening.  If someone was hungry earlier, he had to wait.  If someone arrived late, there was probably no food left.  It was not a buffet or any other type of restaurant.  It was "We're serving XYZ tonight."  Because of the aforementioned arrangements, it was often the case that we had served the exact same thing the previous night, and it was quite likely that we would serve it again the following evening.  Some people took more issue with a perceived lack of  nutritional value of the food than they did with the repetition.  Had it not been for the generosity of the donors though, we may have not been able to provide anything on most occasions.  If the portions were small, it was due to the fact that there were more people than usual in the shelter that evening, and we had to make sure everybody got something.  Second helpings were rare.  If someone couldn't finish his meal, it often went into the trash, because his only means of storage was his backpack, and that promised an unhealthy outcome.

At the risk of sounding harsh, and while this certainly wasn't what we told the already downtrodden people, nor was it our written or otherwise accepted policy, meals boiled down to this:  you eat what we say, when we say, how much we say, with whom we say.  Not enough?  Sorry.  Too much?  No refrigeration.  Sorry.  Don't like it?  Sorry.  Can't eat it?  Sorry.  Sick of eating the same thing numerous days in a row?  Sorry.  There's really nothing that I can do about it.  Sorry.

Thomas Hobson (1544 - 1631)
http://en.wikipedia.org/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended
In fact, there really was very little that could be done to accommodate the "other," as tailoring for one meant tailoring for all, and that was simply not feasible, given limited staffing and the attention that was required for other program services.  As much as we were providing assistance, we were often offering only a Hobson's choice, and that can be extremely dehumanizing to everyone involved.

Were hundreds of people using the shelter every night because of the choices that they had made?  For some, I suppose it could be argued that choices (e.g., drug use or criminal activity) are why they continued to stay there.  For others though, they were victims of circumstance (such as losing a job),  generational poverty, and/ or institutional racism.  These factors impact education, housing,  transportation, health insurance, and countless other facets of a person's life.  For them, poverty was not a choice.  It was a circumstance, and it compromised their ability to make realistic positive long-term plans.

The quote also does not take the concept of redemption and the reality of judgment into account.  People can choose to make themselves "better" all day long, but society uses suspicion and assumption as tools to confine people within social standings.  One can seem stuck in a position where no amount of effort seems to help, and the system can be  extremely confusing and overwhelming.  This can result in depression, which further hampers one's ability to make decisions, and gone untreated (without health insurance), those decisions - those choices - become less and less rational.

What do you  think?  Do you agree with the quote, or do you think it smacks of judgment?  Please share your experiences (not just your "comments") below.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

You were not that old, Father William

Our Last Family Photo:  At My Cousin Sara's Wedding
08/16/2003 (The date stamp was one day off)
Noerenberg Gardens:  Wayzata, Minnesota

Nine years ago today, on 12/18/2003, my father, William J. Morse, passed away at home after a brief battle with cancer. The interval between his last day of work and his last day of life was a short twenty-eight days. He was 58 years old.

My Dad was a great many things - 

...A veteran of the United States Army, he served in Germany during the Vietnam War era. Because it was not a particularly pleasant experience for him, we rarely talked about his service, or the fact that he was quite fortunate not to see armed combat. It was not until I contacted the Army after my Dad's passing to obtain a flag for his coffin that I learned of his training as a sharpshooter.

...An employee of the same company for forty years (receiving credit for his service in the Armed Forces). Shortly before his death, he held the honor of being the most senior individual (by length of employment) on staff. He worked at Waterous Company (a one-time division of American Hoist and Derrick and currently of American Cast Iron Pipe Company), an industry leader in the manufacturing of fire-fighting equipment.  Photos of belt buckles representing the company are shown below.

...A husband of 34 years, two months, and 29 days. My parents met at the aforementioned Waterous Company in 1967 and married in 1969.

...A father of two, myself and my younger sister Kimberly.

...A son, brother to two brothers and two sisters, grandfather, father-in-law, uncle, cousin, nephew, and friend.

...and so much more. He was by no means Saint William, and I would be lying if I suggested that we always saw eye-to-eye, but he set such a firm example for my sister and myself as to how we should treat people. We were not the sort for speedboats and trips to Disney World, but my sister and I received a private Catholic education from kindergarten through the twelfth grade, went on family vacations every year, and never wanted for anything.

A Belt Buckle from Waterous Company
http://www.waterousco.com/
My Dad was also more than a laundry list, so I would like to share just a few short stories about him.  Every once in a while, if everyone was engrossed in something - newspaper, book, et cetera - my Dad would just start singing at the top of his lungs all of a sudden.  There is a Christmas song called "Bring a Torch, Jeanette Isabella," but his special take on it was "BRING hot porridge to Christians a-bella!"  This would invariably scare the (bejeepers) out of everyone, and then send us into fits of laughter.  He had other sayings, and my sister has carried some of those on more so than I have.

From what I gather, he was a bit of a hellion in his youth, going through the caves along the Mississippi River in Saint Paul, and one time finding refuge on a small side platform on a railroad bridge as a train crossed the river.  The train scene in 1986's Stand by Me had particular relevance to him.

Another Belt Buckle from
Waterous Company
http://www.american-usa.com/...
One of the last memories that I have of my Dad being remotely healthy was on Thanksgiving.  It was painful for him to wear pants, as they put pressure on his stomach.  On the evening before, I was at my Mom and Dad's apartment, and just before I left, I asked him "Are you going to need pants for tomorrow?"  His deadpan reply was "That's a strange question."  After explaining that I meant more comfortable pants, of course, he declined and said that he would be okay.  We had a beautiful dinner at Rudy's Redeye Grill in White Bear Lake.  After that, it was a series of hospital visits and stays, and then realizations....

I either never knew or simply choose not to remember the details, but at some point, it became clear that his days were numbered, and the decision was made for him to return home.  We were told that the ambulance ride alone could very possibly kill him, but thankfully, it did not.  That evening, with my aunts and uncles present, it was though we were privy to a private audience with a master storyteller and humorist.  As the evening wore on though, my Dad started to tire, and he said that he needed to rest.

He never awoke.

On the afternoon of Thursday, December 18, my aunts and uncles, my sister and my brother-in-law, and I went out to lunch at Decoy's, a two-block walk from my parents' apartment home.  When we returned, we learned that my Dad had passed during our absence.

On Monday, December 22, 2003, we had a celebration of his life.

I miss him more than I could possibly say.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Misdirection in the Face of National Tragedy: A (Mostly) Good Message Could Become Diluted


Morgan Freeman
http://scrapetv.com/...
No Copyright Infringement Intended
In the absence of feedback, it is impossible for me to know who reads Codified: The Life and Thoughts of Matthew Morse, so I have no way of knowing if you and I have met in person or spoken on the phone.  Perhaps you are reading this in my voice, Morgan Freeman's, The Simpsons' Professor Frink's, your own, or someone else's altogether.

Jonathan "John" I.Q. Neidelbaum Frink, Jr.
B.Sc., Ph.D. M.R.S.C., C.Chem
http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/...
Cropped without Permission
No Copyright Infringement Intended
In the wake of the tragedies that took place in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday, December 14, 2012, almost everyone had something to say.  Some spoke about gun use, others about mental health.  Everyone that I know talked about overwhelming heartbreak, and that was amplified among those of my friends who are parents.

One man wrote about the misguided notion of treating murderers like celebrities, repeating their names, burning them into our memories.  Most of his words had solid value on their own, but somewhere along the line, someone thought that the words would have more credibility if they were said to have come from Mister Freeman.  The Inquisitr reported in this article that a man named Mark from Vancouver (no further specification as to Washington or British Columbia) wrote the opinion.  I shall not be copying "Mark"'s words in entirety here.  In the highly unlikely event that you are not familiar with them, please conduct a search of "Morgan Freeman Newtown Hoax," and you will receive numerous responses.

You may have read in some of my previous blog entries "As with many things, I am of two minds on this," or similar wording.  In this case, I am of at least three, and I will do my best to address each of those briefly.

Assuming that The Inquisitr's article is accurate, the man identified as Mark from Vancouver, or someone on his behalf, gamed the system, lending heavier weight to his words by attributing them to a well-respected celebrity.  When it has been pointed out that Morgan Freeman did not provide the opinion, many people have responded with something like "Well, it doesn't matter who said it, that is spot-on."   

 As indicated above, the words had solid value of their own.  They might not have gained as much immediate attention as they did, but, ideally, someone so insightful could very possibly have developed relationships with people in the media and/ or in government and shared his insights with them.  He could have written a letter to the editor.  He could have shared his views in some public forum and secured the attention of someone who would have taken notice.  He could have put some effort into it.  Instead, he fooled many people into believing his words possessed a greater gravity by attaching Morgan Freeman's name to them.  We attach importance to celebrity - right, wrong, or otherwise.

Misdirection
http://blogdemagia.com/2009/08/14/la-misdirection/
No Copyright Infringement Intended
Believe me.  It's not as though I am missing the point.  I often value an end and dislike the means by which it was achieved.  I can not stress enough how the spirit of the opinion has great worth.  My concern is that the integrity of Mark's argument could become compromised by virtue of the nonsense that now surrounds it.  Additionally, I have a great disdain for work that spreads across Facebook and other social networks like wildfire before it is authenticated.

Here is big problem though:  by talking about the origin of the opinion, we can lose the importance of its message, and that is extremely unfortunate.  Additionally, by focusing on this side matter, I am taking my eye off the actual problem - someone murdered twenty children.  That is what makes me the most upset of all:  when we are faced with a difficult conversation or decision, we look for an easier way out.  We create side issues, bluffing and blustering, pretending that we are addressing the matter, when we very clearly are not.  We fool ourselves into thinking that the answer will just come to us if we wait.  We put it off until tomorrow.

You have an opinion on the violence that has plagued the United States over the course of the past year, and you have a "solution."  Don't get into an argument with a friend.  Don't call people names.  Instead, put your voice to work.  Contact your elected representatives and share your opinion with them.  If they disagree with you, find a common point.  Find something.  Find anything,  and make that a platform for intelligent discussion.  Do it now.  Do not put it off until tomorrow.

Sometimes, tomorrow does not come.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

"I'm not allowed in schools." God

Original image obtained from
http://www.funmist.com/2012/....
Modified without Permission
No Copyright infringement Intended
In the wake of the horrific shootings in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012, I have seen numerous posts that have included a T-shirt indicating that God de facto allows violence in schools because He Himself is not allowed there.

I strongly disagree.  Here are a couple of thoughts that I would like to share with you from my perspective as someone who went to Catholic school from kindergarten through my senior year of high school.  This is in no way an attempt to be the final word on the matter, nor is it an attempt to convert you from your personal beliefs.

1.  I learned that God is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.

http://dictionary.reference.com defines these terms as follows:

omniscient:  having complete or unlimited knowledge, awareness, or understanding; perceiving all things.

omnipotent:  almighty or infinite in power.

omnipresent:  present everywhere at the same time.

For someone who believes in  God, those characteristics mean that God is in schools.  No amount of secular legislation is ever going to prevent that from being the case.  This does not mean that other people have to acknowledge that He is there or even believe in Him, but it's kind of like "I am here - as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be - and, as such, I will be here whenever you need Me."
Interfaith Symbols
http://www.global-caring-ethics.com...
No Copyright Infringement Intended

2.  God has a lot of company.  The photo on the left contains images from Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Shintoism, Judaism, Taoism, Unitarian Universalism, Aboriginal beliefs, Wicca, Zoroastrianism, Jainism, and Sikhism.

The United States Department of Veterans Affairs allows 54 different religious beliefs to be represented on gravestones, as described in this Wikipedia article.

I used to volunteer, and then eventually work, for a faith-based non-profit organization that provided shelter and meals to the needy.  The very first thing that the volunteer coordinator told me was that we would be serving hundreds of people on a daily basis, and that if I extended an out-of-the-ordinary courtesy to one individual, I had to provide that same service to everyone.  Since that was not physically, economically, or otherwise possible, it was forbidden to deviate from the guidelines.  Let me give you an example:  at lunchtime, we served a salad, a casserole, a dessert, and one carton of milk.  If someone asked for two cartons of milk, we had to deny him, because that would mean giving everyone two cartons, and there just wasn't enough to do that.  If, at the end of the meal, it turned out  that there was enough, that would often be taken back into the kitchen and refrigerated, to be served at  the next meal.  Additionally, if we were serving dessert from a tray of pie, but there was a tray of cake ready when that ran out, and someone said "I would prefer cake," we were instructed to offer them the pie or nothing, as it was not feasible to tailor the serving to anyone's individual requests.  The goal was to serve people a meal as rapidly as possible, so that we could clean the kitchen and prepare for the next meal.

I offer this experience as a means of explanation:  if we allow prayer in schools, then to which God to we pray?  Yahweh?  Allah?  Gitche Manitou?  If we extend privileges to one, we must extend them to all, and that is just not feasible in a public school setting.

3.  School is for school, church is for church.  People can not be with their children at school, but when a family attends a worship service together, it is there - and at home, of course - that a child learns faith values.  Even though my education was at Catholic schools, there were occasions when my classmates and I had questions that exceeded an individual teacher's ability to respond intelligently.  Our educators were teachers, not theologians or members of the clergy.  

4.  In closing, the concept that God allows violence runs counter to a teaching in the New Testament of the Holy Bible, in First Epistle of Saint John, chapter 4, verse 8, which reads "He who does not know love does not know God, for God is love."

So, please don't insult my intelligence, and for goodness sake, if you say that you believe in God, don't insult His.  He is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, and He is love.  For someone who believes in God, no human law can countermand His supremacy, and no human condition can overpower His love.

In spite of this, horrific things continue to happen.  In my entry dated December 6, "When Will It End?", I delineated seven incidents in which guns were used to kill people, but failing to mention a workplace shooting in Minneapolis on 09/27/2012 that resulted in the deaths of seven people or an incident that took place in Little Falls, Minnesota on Thanksgiving (11/22/2012), in which two teen intruders were killed with "more shots than needed" instead of being wounded.  Since then, of course, there have been the incidents at the shopping mall in Portland, Oregon on December 11, and in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14.  

"Hope Springs Eternal" by Josephine Wall
http://www.josephinewall.co.uk...
No Copyright Infringement Intended
We have also had, for example, the sexual assault in Egypt of CBS correspondent Lara Logan on 02/11/2011; the destruction of Joplin, Missouri from a tornado on 05/22/2011; a terrible multi-vehicle accident on 01/29/2012 on Florida's Interstate 75 that resulted in the deaths of ten people; the devastation wrought upon America's northeastern seaboard by Superstorm Sandy in October 2012; ad infinitum.

My sphere of knowledge is not within criminology, meteorology, theology, or any number of other things, so I could not possibly begin to understand why these things continue to happen or suggest a remedy for them, but my guess is that it doesn't have anything to do with prayer in  schools.

In closing, I do not yield to despair.  Hope springs eternal.  The verse that accompanies the painting shown on  the right reads

"An angel's loving hand directs a rainbow of hope towards a fertile and beautiful earth, and like a bulb in spring life bursts forth - another gem in the vast garden of the universe."

In days of darkness, I hope that you can find inspiration in something - family, faith, art, whatever it may be - and let your light shine as a beacon for others.

Your respectful comments are welcome below.

Friday, December 14, 2012

A Tremendous Honor from a Wonderful Friend

Yule Blessings
All songs performed by Cindy Rhodes
http://www.mermaidmansion.com/
Photo Provided by Ms Rhodes and Used with Permission
As mentioned in my entry dated November 26, "You like... what exactly?," I discussed my affinity for mermaids.

One of the most rewarding relationships that has sprung from this has been with a woman named Cindy Rhodes, aka Mermaid Morrigan.  On or about August 6, 2011, I posted a question in a mermaid discussion group, asking about interacting with mermaids when meeting them in person.

Again, this is in reference to adult human women who wear mermaid tails or who otherwise identity with the spirit of the ocean and her bountiful gifts.  As a point of reference, my enjoyment of fantasy extends beyond mermaids.  For example, I thoroughly enjoy going to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival and talking with performance artists such as Ivy the Faun and the inimitable Twig the Fairy.  As you can imagine, single, childless men in their forties are not exactly the target audience for these performers, but there is just something about them that bring me a great deal of joy.

In response to my question (which was not entirely well-received within the group), Ms Rhodes contacted me privately and essentially told me to be myself.  We corresponded intermittently for a few months, and then officially became friends on 11/29/2011, less than an hour before my birthday.  Over the course of the past year, we have chatted on an almost daily basis, and although we have not met in person - yet - I consider her to be one of my best friends.

Among a wealth of other things, Cindy plays a hammered dulcimer named "Persephone," and she recently recorded a CD called Yule Blessings (pictured).  As she prepared the work, we discussed song selections, and she even let me hear a few samples before putting everything together.

When she told me that she was going to dedicate the CD both to me and to her recently deceased friend David Drake, I was overwhelmed with emotion.  It is really something that strains my ability to express just exactly what an honor this is.

The song selections are as follows:

Greensleeves                                  Il es né, le divin Enfant
O Come, Emmanuel                        I Saw Three Ships A-Sailing
Gaudette                                        God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
The Holly and the Ivy                       Good King Wenceslas
Coventry Carol                                 Carol of the Bells
Ding Dong Merrily on High                We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Joy to the World

For me, the CD is a celebration both of the season and of friendship.

Thank you, Cindy, from the bottom of my heart.  I love you!


EDIT:  In my haste to write this update this morning, I failed to mention the fact that this is not the first time that Cindy Rhodes has produced media for me.  On 07/27/2011, I wrote to her on her Mermaid Morrigan fan page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mermaid-Morrigan/131495653537891) "...It is so hard to find high-quality (and relatively short - say 90 seconds or less) 'happy birthday' videos.  Would you ever be interested in making one?"  On August 4 (which, coincidentally, is my late father's birthday), Cindy posted this video to YouTube:  
You, gentle reader, have had a positive impact on others, maybe in ways that you didn't understand at first, and maybe in ways that you will never know.  If someone has had an impact on you, do whatever it is you crazy kids do nowadays - Skype, E-mail, Instagram, what have you - and let them know.

Who has had an impact on you?  A teacher?  A member of the clergy?  A neighbor or co-worker?  How did you let them know?  Please feel to tell me about it in the comments below.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

You Are the Olive of My Eye

My blog updates over the course of the past few days have been of a decidedly less-than-jovial bent:  a falling-out with a family member, several challenging life events occurring almost simultaneously, homelessness and death, gun violence, et cetera.  While each of those matters was - and continues to be - important to me, it is crucial on occasion to take stock of the lighter things in life as well.

Given an extremely humbling comparison to the late English humorist P. G. Wodehouse and an introduction to Triberr - The Reach Multiplier, this may be bad timing for a fluff post, but so it goes.

Green Olives with Pimientos
http://www.allposters.co.uk/....
No Copyright Infringement Intended
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the olive, specifically, the pimiento-stuffed green olive and its equally delicious cousin, the black olive.

Please note my preferred spelling of the word pimiento, p-i-m-i-e-n-t-o, with an  "i" after the "m."  Correspondingly, I also pronounce the word "pih-MYEHN-toh."  I also pronounce the word "Wednesday" as "wɛdənzdeɪ."  Pronunciation taken from   Wiktionary.

But I digress.

In 2008, I was looking for a new living arrangement after having lived with two brothers for two years.  My Mom, as well as my sister and her family, live in a northeastern suburb of Saint Paul, about one mile away from each other, and even though I get along with all of them famously, it was my intent to live in Minneapolis.

My Mom hosts a craft day at her apartment complex on the last Saturday of every month, and my sister, her family, and I are always invited to attend.  It might be important to understand that food is just as much a foundation of the event as any crafting is, so I thought "You know, I have never seen a black olive with a pimiento.  I think I'll make some and serve them at craft day!"

Black Olives - Completely Pimiento-less!
http://calolive.org/
No Copyright Infringement Intended
Dromedary Sliced Pimientos
http://www.grocerycouponnetwork.com/...
No Copyright Infringement Intended
With black olives, pimientos, rubber gloves, and toothpicks in hand, I set about my task and made small works of art on par with, dare I say, Leonardo da Vinci, or at the very least, Leonardo DiCaprio.

On craft day itself, I went to make sure that my mini-masterpieces would, in fact, be served, and on the way, I passed an apartment complex that had units that were available and open for showing.  Since I was highly motivated to find a new place to live, it was essential for me to check out all of my options.  A man named Bill showed me an apartment, and the rest, as they say, is history.  I moved in on September 1st, 2008.

As far as I am concerned, my current home is due all to pimiento-stuffed black olives.

Have you ever done something that seemed silly at first, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions  you ever made?  Please tell me about it in the comments below.

Monday, December 10, 2012

"Your a vulgar pig"

Sarah Silverman
http://www.zimbio.com/...
No Copyright Infringement Intended
I was called a "vulgar pig" today.  The full explanation behind the heart - and the heartbreak - of the matter is somewhat elaborate, but I shall attempt to brief.

I shared a video from an organization called Let My People Vote on my Facebook Timeline on October 19, with the introduction "In the attached video, Sarah Silverman shares some of her thoughts regarding voter ID laws. Occasionally, she resorts to swearing and hyperbole, and while some people may find that objectionable, I believe it is necessary for her to use such tools in order to underscore the ridiculous stance taken by those against whom she is speaking."

Flash forward to November 30.  The election had been over for more than three weeks.  Actions argued as voter suppression were suspended in Mississippi and Pennsylvania, and a ballot referendum proposing a similar law in my home state of Minnesota was defeated by a margin of 53.8% to 46.2%, as shown on these results reported by Minnesota Public Radio.  I had just come home from spending the evening with several friends in celebration of my birthday, and I logged on to Facebook before going to bed, noticing that my friend count had declined by one.  After determining who had unfriended me, I waited nine days before addressing it with her.  Please note well that the individual in question is an extended family member.

On Sunday, I contacted the individual in an attempt to open a dialogue, explaining some of my more idiosyncratic behaviors, including membership in some niche communities, and expressing a desire to understand her decision for unfriending me.  I addressed my political and religious foundations, as well as my support of friends with alternate views.  Finally, I expressed a goal to be more connected with my extended family and ended the message with a wish for a safe and happy holiday season.

A not-particularly-vulgar pig
http://www.bonappetit.com/...
No Copyright Infringement Intended
Five hours later, I received a reply indicating that the video featuring Ms. Silverman was the catalyst for the decision to unfriend me; however, the reply went on to address several matters that were... unexpected.  I considered the matter closed and tried to think of a diplomatic response; however, a short time after that, I received an additional replying indicating that "No gentleman would ever have a video post like yours!!," that "YOU ARE NOT A GENTLEMAN," and "Your (sic) a vulgar pig."

As these are positions without a great deal of flexibility, in my biased opinion, I have not yet formulated an intelligent response, and I may choose to leave well-enough alone.  It does disappoint me to know that someone would judge me so severely based upon this incident, but I would submit that the individual making the charges does not truly know who I am.  In fact, my two greatest interests at this time are mermaids and the cabaret stage, each of which have components to them which lead some many toward vulgarity and all-around piggery, but several people from each community have suggested that I can actually be too respectful on occasion, if there is such a thing.  I must be doing something right, as it is both my pleasure and my privilege to have positive friendly relationships with numerous individuals from both niche communities.

At the end of the day, as disappointing as this is, I can not allow it to define me.  If there were an opportunity for further discussion on the matter, I would welcome it, but it seems unlikely as of this writing, and at this point, the conversation has shifted from the observational dislike of Ms. Silverman to a personal distaste of me as an individual.  Were it simply that, there might be some latitude, but the name-calling is a bridge too far for the time being.

Have you ever had a falling-out with a friend or a family member that went unexplained, and then when you finally learned the reason(s) behind it, their position was more than you could appreciate at the time?  Please feel free to share as much as you are comfortable in the comments below.