My Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage

"Golden Wedding Rings on White Background"
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Photo Credit:  Petr Kratochvil
Public Domain

If you had asked me twenty years ago what my thoughts were on same-sex marriage,  I might have said some things that were not particularly charitable toward the more than 11.7 million Americans who identify as LGBT.

I attended private Catholic schools from kindergarten through my senior year of high school, and my recollection of that time is that some people, including myself on occasion, would use the term "gay" as a slur.  Two particular students in the grade just above mine would use far more graphic terms.

The passage of time has resulted in some personal illumination, stemming from four specific sets of circumstances.

I was married to - and have long since been divorced from - a young woman who must not have been paying attention in her high school health classes, as I think she believed that AIDS was something that could be transmitted through casual contact.  Her particular brand of homophobia was one based on fear, whereas her father's stemmed more from contempt.  He was one of those "God made 'Adam and Eve,' not 'Adam and Steve'" types.  That expression has never seemed particularly inventive to me, especially not when he used it in reference to Jimmy Kimmel appearing in a dress on "Win Ben Stein's Money,"  and that he made the comment during a "meet the parents" dinner that my parents hosted.  Just as a matter of record, I should point out that his application of various "-isms" was not limited to sexuality.  For example, he also referred to people from the Middle East as "sand n*****s."

An Evening of Burlesque
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The next three ultimately tie together and are provided in a non-linear timeline.

One of my closest friends has an affinity for the LGBT community.  It was a topic that we did not discuss in as detailed a level as we should have, but I fully understood that it was important to her.  As she is someone whose opinions hold great value to me, I reconsidered my beliefs on an ongoing basis, ultimately coming to appreciate that love is love.

I have several friends in the burlesque community who are gay and lesbian.  These people have become very important in my life over the course of  the last few  years, and I want to extend to them every manner of respect that I can.  In many cases, to know the performers is to know their significant others as well, and I have had the fortune to get to know several of the couples on an actual first-name basis (as opposed to stage names).

Minnesotans United for All Families 2012 Yard Sign
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As much as I love my friends, however, the single biggest catalyst in re-framing my thought process has been the fact that I have a first cousin who is a lesbian.  She and her wife have been together for six years, first as girlfriends, then as engaged partners, spouses, and now... mothers!  I know  firsthand what it is like to be in an unsuccessful heterosexual marriage, and when I observe the love that my cousin and her wife have for each other and for their son, I can't possibly say that there is something "wrong" with them.  Love is love.  My failed marriage had legal recognition, while their successful one does not.  There are, in fact, 515 ways that their marriage does not have the same rights, so they have to go through legal avenues in advance to ensure, for example, such things as hospital visitation rights in the event that one of them should become ill.

Spurred on by my love and respect for my family members, my friends in the burlesque community, and countless individuals from throughout the state whom I shall never meet,  I chose to volunteer during the 2012 election cycle for a political action committee called Minnesotans United for All Families, working in opposition to the Minnesota Marriage Amendment:

Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?

I am proud to say that the organization's tireless efforts resulted in a victory, by a margin of 52.56% to 47.44%.

With Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe
Photo Taken on Election Day - November 6, 2012

Although I used the term "LGBT" (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) above, another more inclusive term might be "LGBTQIA," which the University of Missouri-Kansas City defines as "Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Ally, and Asexual."

I far prefer the term "ally" over "straight," simply because the latter term suggests to me that all other orientations deviate from a norm, that they are somehow less-than-straight, perhaps even "crooked."  I got to meet a famous ally last year on Election Day - Chris Kluwe, the punter for the Minnesota Vikings - who released a letter on September 7, 2012 indicating his support for same-sex marriage rights.

Representative Karen Clark (left) and
Senator Scott Dibble (right) on 02/27/2013
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Photo Credit:  Jim Mone, Associated Press
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This matter is being discussed in our State House once again.  In light of the Constitutional amendment measure having been defeated, chief Senate sponsor Scott Dibble and chief House sponsor Karen Clark (along with additional sponsors in each chamber) have launched an effort to legalize gay marriage in the State of Minnesota.  Several elected officials within the Republican Party have voiced their strong opposition to the matter, but Governor Mark Dayton (himself a Democrat) has voiced his support.

People are speaking against the motion with language highlighting tradition, religion, the need for children to have both a mother and a father, et cetera.

I am not a theologian, politician, lawyer, doctor, parent, or many other things; however, one thing that I am is a friend and a family member, and I want people who are close to me to be able to exercise the same rights and privileges that I can, and that their love can be recognized by the State of Minnesota.  Love is love.

I am apprehensive to allow comments on this entry, but I will trust that people will respect my opinion, even if they do not agree with it, and that individuals will not engage in hostile cross-chat with others.  Thanks in advance.