Brief Update

Executive Recruiter
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/10/11/....
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Much of my time is spent volunteering and networking, with the goal of ultimately finding a paying position that best fits my skill set.  My  true talents lie within the administration of payroll and benefits, accounts payable, accounts receivable, scheduling,  and bookkeeping tasks - my mind is designed to work at its best within the structure that numbers provide.

I spoke with a recruiter on Friday (03/22/2013) about a position  that would utilize my experience, but was ultimately offered another, one that had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my strengths.

Both Goodreads and BrainyQuote attribute the following quote to the Chinese philosopher Confucius (551 - 479 BC):

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Let me be honest with you:  this does not seem to me as though it will fall into the "love" category, but I want to give it a shot.  In fact, my exact response was "I would like to have the opportunity to fail, so that I can turn it into the opportunity to succeed."  We'll see what happens.

Have you ever taken on a responsibility knowing that it played more to your weaknesses than to  your strengths?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

My Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage

"Golden Wedding Rings on White Background"
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/....
Photo Credit:  Petr Kratochvil
Public Domain

If you had asked me twenty years ago what my thoughts were on same-sex marriage,  I might have said some things that were not particularly charitable toward the more than 11.7 million Americans who identify as LGBT.

I attended private Catholic schools from kindergarten through my senior year of high school, and my recollection of that time is that some people, including myself on occasion, would use the term "gay" as a slur.  Two particular students in the grade just above mine would use far more graphic terms.

The passage of time has resulted in some personal illumination, stemming from four specific sets of circumstances.

I was married to - and have long since been divorced from - a young woman who must not have been paying attention in her high school health classes, as I think she believed that AIDS was something that could be transmitted through casual contact.  Her particular brand of homophobia was one based on fear, whereas her father's stemmed more from contempt.  He was one of those "God made 'Adam and Eve,' not 'Adam and Steve'" types.  That expression has never seemed particularly inventive to me, especially not when he used it in reference to Jimmy Kimmel appearing in a dress on "Win Ben Stein's Money,"  and that he made the comment during a "meet the parents" dinner that my parents hosted.  Just as a matter of record, I should point out that his application of various "-isms" was not limited to sexuality.  For example, he also referred to people from the Middle East as "sand n*****s."

An Evening of Burlesque
http://www.guildhallartscentre.com/....
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The next three ultimately tie together and are provided in a non-linear timeline.

One of my closest friends has an affinity for the LGBT community.  It was a topic that we did not discuss in as detailed a level as we should have, but I fully understood that it was important to her.  As she is someone whose opinions hold great value to me, I reconsidered my beliefs on an ongoing basis, ultimately coming to appreciate that love is love.

I have several friends in the burlesque community who are gay and lesbian.  These people have become very important in my life over the course of  the last few  years, and I want to extend to them every manner of respect that I can.  In many cases, to know the performers is to know their significant others as well, and I have had the fortune to get to know several of the couples on an actual first-name basis (as opposed to stage names).

Minnesotans United for All Families 2012 Yard Sign
https://www.facebook.com/....
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As much as I love my friends, however, the single biggest catalyst in re-framing my thought process has been the fact that I have a first cousin who is a lesbian.  She and her wife have been together for six years, first as girlfriends, then as engaged partners, spouses, and now... mothers!  I know  firsthand what it is like to be in an unsuccessful heterosexual marriage, and when I observe the love that my cousin and her wife have for each other and for their son, I can't possibly say that there is something "wrong" with them.  Love is love.  My failed marriage had legal recognition, while their successful one does not.  There are, in fact, 515 ways that their marriage does not have the same rights, so they have to go through legal avenues in advance to ensure, for example, such things as hospital visitation rights in the event that one of them should become ill.

Spurred on by my love and respect for my family members, my friends in the burlesque community, and countless individuals from throughout the state whom I shall never meet,  I chose to volunteer during the 2012 election cycle for a political action committee called Minnesotans United for All Families, working in opposition to the Minnesota Marriage Amendment:

Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?

I am proud to say that the organization's tireless efforts resulted in a victory, by a margin of 52.56% to 47.44%.

With Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe
Photo Taken on Election Day - November 6, 2012

Although I used the term "LGBT" (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) above, another more inclusive term might be "LGBTQIA," which the University of Missouri-Kansas City defines as "Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Ally, and Asexual."

I far prefer the term "ally" over "straight," simply because the latter term suggests to me that all other orientations deviate from a norm, that they are somehow less-than-straight, perhaps even "crooked."  I got to meet a famous ally last year on Election Day - Chris Kluwe, the punter for the Minnesota Vikings - who released a letter on September 7, 2012 indicating his support for same-sex marriage rights.

Representative Karen Clark (left) and
Senator Scott Dibble (right) on 02/27/2013
http://bigstory.ap.org/photo/....
Photo Credit:  Jim Mone, Associated Press
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This matter is being discussed in our State House once again.  In light of the Constitutional amendment measure having been defeated, chief Senate sponsor Scott Dibble and chief House sponsor Karen Clark (along with additional sponsors in each chamber) have launched an effort to legalize gay marriage in the State of Minnesota.  Several elected officials within the Republican Party have voiced their strong opposition to the matter, but Governor Mark Dayton (himself a Democrat) has voiced his support.

People are speaking against the motion with language highlighting tradition, religion, the need for children to have both a mother and a father, et cetera.

I am not a theologian, politician, lawyer, doctor, parent, or many other things; however, one thing that I am is a friend and a family member, and I want people who are close to me to be able to exercise the same rights and privileges that I can, and that their love can be recognized by the State of Minnesota.  Love is love.

I am apprehensive to allow comments on this entry, but I will trust that people will respect my opinion, even if they do not agree with it, and that individuals will not engage in hostile cross-chat with others.  Thanks in advance.

Tough Decisions

"No Copyright Infringement Intended" T-Shirt
http://amandaliauw-04-2-7.blogspot.com/....
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Anyone who reads my blog or who is one of my Facebook friends will know that I will use phrases such as "No Copyright Infringement Intended" or "Modified without Permission" quite regularly, and that I will always include my source for images and/ or quotations.

It might be argued that this is abnormally important to me, but my reasons are manifold.

Many of my friends are artists of one form or another:  painters, illustrators, musicians, authors, dancers, mermaid tail makers, et cetera.  They invest time, talent, money, physical endurance, and perhaps most importantly, their reputations into their work, regardless of whether their pursuit be full- or part-time.  Occasionally, someone will alter one of my friends' works as pass it off as his or her own, and that is far from the idiom "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."  It is instead theft - a violation of the highest degree.

"Five W Chalboard"
http://www.fastcompany.com/....
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At one time, my art, if you will, was to write behavior reports for my residents at a faith-based, non-profit organization.  The documentation was required to answer all of the standard questions:  Who?  What?  Where?  When?  Why?  How?  It was never quite as simple as a friendly game of Clue, of course, because it was real life, and actual individuals were involved.  The vast majority of the people that we served were formerly homeless.  Many had mental illness, chemical dependency, criminal records, or a combination of these.

I want to talk about one such report.  The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, or HIPAA, enacted on August 21, 1996 - as well as common decency - prevents me from getting into specifics, but what I *can* say is this:  one of my residents was exerting influence over another, due to an alleged romantic connection between the two of them, and it was my observation that his behaviors potentially compromised the ongoing housing of the other individual.

I documented an interaction with the resident whose behavior I was calling into question and fulfilled all of the requirements in detail.  As there were some additional concerns about the matter, I also recorded my personal observations.  To separate the actual from the observational, I inserted a dividing line:  ~~~~~~~~~~.

A few weeks later, my worst fears came to fruition.  Everything - every single thing - about which I had expressed potential concerns turned out to be a grim reality, one with which came the loss of housing and corresponding safety of the second resident.  When I went to review to report, everything below the dividing line was gone!  There was no question in my mind about it being the same report, because the line itself remained intact  ~~~~~~~~~~.

The planet Alderaan exploding in
Star Wars Episode IV:  A New Hope (1977)
http://www.st-v-sw.net/STSWsuperl-2.html
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For me, this was not an exercise in "I told you you so," but an effort to underscore my ability to observe and understand the people I was serving, as well as to illustrate how some of them created a genuine climate of harm for others.  When my work was gone, it was a "disturbance in the force," a professional parallel to the destruction of the planet Alderaan.  A foundational chronicle, albeit one of strictly theoretical quality when it was written,  had been eliminated.  Because of the way that the database was designed, there was no backup of the original report, and I had not kept a separate electronic or printed copy for myself, as to do so would have been a violation of company policy.  The only that I *could* determine was the modification history of the report.  In partnership with the database administrator, I learned that it was my supervisor who had altered my work.

As you can imagine, this created profound trust issues for me.  As the second resident lost her housing and support services while the first one maintained his, seemingly without any sort of sanction, the sense of injustice compounded.  Additionally, other residents willfully conducted themselves in various ways as to compromise the safety of their neighbors and the staff who served them, behaviors that were not influenced by mental illness or chemical dependency, but by personal gain.  A primary example of this would be to allow individuals into the building who had been banned because of their actions at our site or at one of our other locations.  As these practices were allowed to flourish, still other residents observed the apparent lack of consequences and adopted challenging behaviors of their own.  Calling law enforcement to resolve matters became all-too-common.

The Art of Walking Away
http://therecordingrevolution.com/....
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This was no longer the company at which I had been hired.  The transformation had gone from "change" to a fundamental shift in the culture at my site, and participating in it no longer made me feel as though I was part of any grand solution, but that I was very much part of the problem.  Transferring within the agency was not a realistic option, as some of the sites offered a more specialized brand of care than I was qualified to provide, or they were in a different division altogether, such as working with children, which is admittedly not one of my strengths.  I chose to walk away from the organization.  It was a difficult decision, because that meant leaving people about whom I had come to care a great deal.  It also meant that I would be unemployed, as I had not lined up anything else.

In the interim, I have had the opportunity to spend time with my family, attend networking events, and to volunteer for a political action committee during the 2012 election cycle.  I am pleased to say that I was an ally in a successful cause.  It has also allowed me to cultivate relationships within some niche communities, corresponding on a daily basis with people locally, throughout the country and around the world.  I am, of course, eager to re-enter the paid workforce and to use my talents to make a contribution toward the greater good for others.

Have you ever been in a situation wherein walking away also meant taking some big risks?  Have you ever found yourself having made a decision that was good for your own well-being, but others do not seem to understand your motivation?  Please feel free to share your comments below.