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| Spiral Galaxy M101 http://hubblesite.org/gallery/wallpaper/pr2006010a/ NASA, ESA, K. Kuntz (JHU), F. Bresolin (University of Hawaii), J. Trauger (Jet Propulsion Lab), J. Mould (NOAO), Y.-H. Chu (University of Illinois, Urbana), and STScI |
One of these gentle souls is a woman named Marie, who lives in California. Having a great deal in common with her and her husband, it caused me some personal distress recently to learn that Marie had a death in her family, a falling out with another family member, and an interaction with a business partner that smacked of disloyalty on his part.
From my vantage point, it was easily one of the worst weeks for Marie since I have known her, perhaps the worst of her entire life.
While all of this was taking place, Marie updated her Facebook status to indicate that she was having "grey skies." Having missed a couple of key details along the way, I did not comprehend the gravity of her situation and responded with some lyrics from the song Put on a Happy Face from the 1960 Broadway play and 1963 movie Bye Bye Birdie. You can't begin to imagine how bad I felt upon learning the full meaning of her words.
It is at moments such as this that I can feel particularly useless. There is only so much that the expression "Let me know if there is anything that I can do for you" accomplishes, especially given a 2,000-mile barrier. Additionally, due to a typographical error, my *big hugs* came across as *bug hugs*. As the saying goes, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I am at a loss to define the nature of a "bug hug." I find myself weighing the importance of recognition versus being yet another person whose sole offerings are little more than platitudes.
Marie, her family, and I all know that we would provide more constructive help to each other as needed if it were possible, but given the reality of our geography, this is the very sort of circumstance for which the expression "It's the thought that counts" was coined.
On a separate but related note, it is sometimes the case that a simple "Thinking of you" message can be a valuable tool in cultivating and maintaining friendships, a simple note to express appreciation for having someone in one's life during times when personal and/ or professional obligations make more extensive interaction prohibitive.
My thoughts are with Marie and her family, as well as all of my friends - however I may know them, both in good times and in bad. I look forward to times when we can visit with each other in person, but until then, our online friendships are no less genuine to me.
How do you handle it when a long-distance friend goes through personal hardships? Do you respond with words, a sympathy card, or a well-worded private message? Do you find yourself at a loss as to how best to handle it and find that you ultimately don't handle it at all? (I have regrettably done that as well.) Please share your experiences in the comments below.
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| California to Minnesota Image obtained from Wikipedia Link not provided, as it crashed my computer twice |
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| The Thinker (1902) Musée Rodin - Paris, France Auguste Rodin (11/12/1840 - 11/17/1917) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thinker Photo by Daniel Stockman Creative Commons Attribution - Share Alike 2.0 Generic License |
On a separate but related note, it is sometimes the case that a simple "Thinking of you" message can be a valuable tool in cultivating and maintaining friendships, a simple note to express appreciation for having someone in one's life during times when personal and/ or professional obligations make more extensive interaction prohibitive.
My thoughts are with Marie and her family, as well as all of my friends - however I may know them, both in good times and in bad. I look forward to times when we can visit with each other in person, but until then, our online friendships are no less genuine to me.
How do you handle it when a long-distance friend goes through personal hardships? Do you respond with words, a sympathy card, or a well-worded private message? Do you find yourself at a loss as to how best to handle it and find that you ultimately don't handle it at all? (I have regrettably done that as well.) Please share your experiences in the comments below.
I have many e-friends, but their status AS e-friends does not mean that I am not connected to them. Some of them are some of the most important people in my entire existence on this planet! When one of them suffers, I suffer as well. It is a beautiful thing to be so connected despite the physical distance. Thank you, once again, Matthew, for a beautiful article. My heart goes out to Marie as well. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI have become very closely connected with several people online, such as yourself. Whether or not we shall ever meet in person, I can not possibly say; nevertheless, these friendships have as much value (or more) as if you were my next-door neighbors.
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