"Your a vulgar pig"

Sarah Silverman
http://www.zimbio.com/...
No Copyright Infringement Intended

I was called a "vulgar pig" today.  The full explanation behind the heart - and the heartbreak - of the matter is somewhat elaborate, but I shall attempt to brief.

I shared a video from an organization called Let My People Vote on my Facebook Timeline on October 19, with the introduction "In the attached video, Sarah Silverman shares some of her thoughts regarding voter ID laws. Occasionally, she resorts to swearing and hyperbole, and while some people may find that objectionable, I believe it is necessary for her to use such tools in order to underscore the ridiculous stance taken by those against whom she is speaking."

Flash forward to November 30.  The election had been over for more than three weeks.  Actions argued as voter suppression were suspended in Mississippi and Pennsylvania, and a ballot referendum proposing a similar law in my home state of Minnesota was defeated by a margin of 53.8% to 46.2%, as shown on these results reported by Minnesota Public Radio.  I had just come home from spending the evening with several friends in celebration of my birthday, and I logged on to Facebook before going to bed, noticing that my friend count had declined by one.  After determining who had unfriended me, I waited nine days before addressing it with her.  Please note well that the individual in question is an extended family member.

On Sunday, I contacted the individual in an attempt to open a dialogue, explaining some of my more idiosyncratic behaviors, including membership in some niche communities, and expressing a desire to understand her decision for unfriending me.  I addressed my political and religious foundations, as well as my support of friends with alternate views.  Finally, I expressed a goal to be more connected with my extended family and ended the message with a wish for a safe and happy holiday season.

A not-particularly-vulgar pig
http://www.bonappetit.com/...
No Copyright Infringement Intended

Five hours later, I received a reply indicating that the video featuring Ms. Silverman was the catalyst for the decision to unfriend me; however, the reply went on to address several matters that were... unexpected.  I considered the matter closed and tried to think of a diplomatic response; however, a short time after that, I received an additional replying indicating that "No gentleman would ever have a video post like yours!!," that "YOU ARE NOT A GENTLEMAN," and "Your (sic) a vulgar pig."

As these are positions without a great deal of flexibility, in my biased opinion, I have not yet formulated an intelligent response, and I may choose to leave well-enough alone.  It does disappoint me to know that someone would judge me so severely based upon this incident, but I would submit that the individual making the charges does not truly know who I am.  In fact, my two greatest interests at this time are mermaids and the cabaret stage, each of which have components to them which lead some many toward vulgarity and all-around piggery, but several people from each community have suggested that I can actually be too respectful on occasion, if there is such a thing.  I must be doing something right, as it is both my pleasure and my privilege to have positive friendly relationships with numerous individuals from both niche communities.

At the end of the day, as disappointing as this is, I can not allow it to define me.  If there were an opportunity for further discussion on the matter, I would welcome it, but it seems unlikely as of this writing, and at this point, the conversation has shifted from the observational dislike of Ms. Silverman to a personal distaste of me as an individual.  Were it simply that, there might be some latitude, but the name-calling is a bridge too far for the time being.

Have you ever had a falling-out with a friend or a family member that went unexplained, and then when you finally learned the reason(s) behind it, their position was more than you could appreciate at the time?  Please feel free to share as much as you are comfortable in the comments below.