I Found Him in the Shining of the Stars

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/homeless-man...
Jennifer Foster/ Associated Press
No Copyright Infringement Intended

Please take a good look at the picture on the left.  

This article in the New York Daily News describes it as follows:  "This photo provided by Jennifer Foster shows New York City Police Officer Larry DePrimo presenting a barefoot homeless man in New York's Times Square with boots Nov. 14, 2012.  Foster was visiting New York with her boyfriend on Nov. 14, when she came across the shoeless man asking for change in Times Square.  As she was about to approach him, she said the officer came up to the man with a pair of all-weather boots and thermal socks on the frigid night.  She took the picture on her cellphone.  It was posted Tuesday night to the NYPD's official Facebook page and became an instant hit.  More than 350,000 users "liked" it as of Thursday afternoon, and over 100,000 shared it."

It has since been revealed (http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/homeless-shoe-guy-history-rejecting-article-1.1212779) that the "homeless" man is named Jeffrey Hillman, a man who "has an apartment in the Bronx, paid for through a combination of federal Section 8 rent vouchers and Social Security disability and veterans benefits," and that he has a "loving, supportive family."  He has hidden the boots out of fear for his own safety and has once again been witnessed shoeless or in flip-flops that provide no warmth and little protection for his feet.

As with everything that gains attention, there will be any variety of opinions on Mister Hillman, perhaps using his status as a veteran or a notion that he is somehow ungrateful as talking points.  I will not presume to understand his circumstances and can correspondingly not comment intelligently about them.

Let me instead direct your attention to another individual, whom I shall call Edgar (not his real name).  In 2006, I started work as a coordinator at a faith-based, non-profit men's shelter in Minneapolis.  Many of the men who used the shelter had some sort mental illness, chemical dependency, criminal history, or a combination of these.  We had a "detox" section populated by gentlemen who ranged from sedate to outraged.  Some of the men were intoxicated beyond the ability to speak, but they still somehow found the shelter.  These were "the least of my brothers" as described in the Gospel according to Saint Matthew, chapter 25, verse 40.

It was necessary to document behaviors, and some people were constantly being written up.  This was not the case with Edgar.  The only time that his behavior deviated was when I observed going through the trash in search of food, at which time I begged him to have trust in me and come to me if he ever found himself in a similar situation.

After being offered a position at a long-term permanent housing site within the organization, I fell out of touch with Edgar and the other gentlemen who used the shelter, knowing of them only through their behavior reports.  In October of 2007, I saw Edgar's name on my screen and laughed, asking "I wonder he did this time?"

It was no laughing matter.  Edgar had passed away in the night.

I was shaken, and upon learning of the arrangements for his funeral, made sure to attend it.  In the car on the way to the service, I practiced singing a song, in the thoughts that there would be very few people there, and my input would add some dignity to it.  Of all the times that I have been wrong, and there have been many, this one ranks near the top.  The funeral was standing-room only, with attendees from Edgar's grade school, high school, and Ivy League university, as well as friends and co-workers from the bars where he worked as a "swamper," and numerous members of a loving family.  They described a man of great intelligence and culture.  I was overwhelmed with the belief of having mistreated a man whose intelligence eclipsed mine dramatically.

On the other hand, if I had known Edgar's background, perhaps things would have been different.  He certainly never used his impressive background as a weapon against the staff or clients at the shelter, and we never used it as a tool for judgement against him.  We interacted as genuinely as the staff/ client relationship allows.

Therein lies the key issue that plagues me five years later:  what difference does it make if he were an Ivy League scholar or a homeless man?  This man was both!  Why do we adjust our interactions with others based upon our perception of them instead of affording people equal treatment?  We all know people who command respect but don't "deserve" it.  Perhaps they could benefit from the stories of Mister Hillman, Edgar, and countless others who generally don't get respect but who deserve it so richly.

Just as the death of my classmate Pat on the Interstate 35W Mississippi River Bridge prompted me to be sure to engage with people that I see in public (http://matthewmorsecodified.blogspot.com/2012/11/yesterday-november-20-2012-would-have.html), Edgar's passing awakened me to just how misguided judgement can be, and how important it is to treat people well, regardless of their perceived station in life.

I don't want to learn any more lessons because someone has died, and I want my example to be respected when I join Pat and Edgar.

Have you ever learned of something after the fact that made you question how you handled yourself, and then used that as a template to make positive changes?  It would mean a great deal to me if you shared a story about it in the comments below.